Yes, Ed Sheeran Gave Sam Smith a 6-Foot-Tall Penis Statue Named the ‘Duke of Hastings’

Sam Smith may be getting up to some “Unholy” activities with their latest music, but Ed Sheeran is the one making sure they keep that energy going in real life.

Appearing on the Tuesday (Oct. 11) episode of The Kelly Clarkson Show, Smith revealed that the “Shivers” singer gave him a very specific gift recently. “It’s actually wild, it’s a six-foot-two marble penis,” Smith said as Clarkson cackled. “It’s two tons and I’ll have to get it craned into my house.”

When an exasperated Clarkson began to speculate what Smith would do with such a phallic art fixture (“What, in your foyer? Where?”), Smith revealed that they want to “turn it into a fountain.” They also revealed that they are not the first recipient of Sheeran’s largesse. “He gives people concrete penises,” they said matter-of-factly. “I’m not the first — Elton got the first.”

The duo then went about choosing a name for Smith’s new agate twig-and-berries. Smith originally suggested such simple names as “Phillip” or “Kevin,” before Clarkson dubbed the new installation “the Duke of Hastings” after Bridgerton season one star Regé-Jean Page.

Statuesque genitalia was not the only topic of conversation during Smith’s time on the show: They spoke to Clarkson about how their latest single “Unholy” featuring Kim Petras was inspired by real-life events. “Being in the music industry, I’ve spent a lot of time with a lot of guys, and a lot of dirty pigs,” Smith said. “I’ve been a part of secrets I didn’t want to be a part of. I hate secrets.”

Smith may hate secrets, but fans seem to love their song about secrets — “Unholy” debuted at No. 3 on the Billboard Hot 100 last week, rising to No. 2 this week, marking their highest position on the chart since 2014’s “Stay With Me.”

Check out Smith’s chat with Clarkson below:

Stephen Daw