Lorde says eating disorder battle left her “disconnected from creativity”
Lorde has shed light on past fears that her eating disorder would permanently stifle her creative abilities.
In an interview with BBC Radio 1 shared yesterday (July 8), the Kiwi singer said she was consumed by obsessive thoughts about being thin to such a degree, she had no capacity to think about making music.
“At the beginning of 2023, I was just, like, not in a great way on a lot of levels,” she said. “I never felt more disconnected from my creativity. I hadn’t had an idea in a long time.”
“This was a period where all I was thinking about was trying to weigh as little as possible, and going to sleep thinking about food, and waking up thinking about food and exercise,” she explained.
“That was my creative pursuit, that’s where it was all going. At the time, I was like, ‘I need to stop doing this, because it’s blocking all of my artistry.’ Once that went away, it all started coming back.”
Focusing on her wellbeing – which she previously shared included interventions like MDMA therapy – enabled her to get back into the studio to work on ‘Virgin‘, which came out last month and was played in full at Glastonbury in a surprise set on the day of its release.
In a glowing five-star review of the performance, NME‘s Rhian Daly wrote: “With ‘Virgin’ out today, it’s the perfect time to play it in full – which is exactly what she does, something she suggests at one point could be a “one of one” occurrence. It’s also a brave choice given most people present won’t have had the chance to listen to the record while in the fields of Worthy Farm yet, but it’s a testament to the music that the crowd stays rapt throughout.”
Throughout the album rollout, the ‘Man of the Year’ singer has been open with fans about her struggles with eating and body image. Back in May, she spoke to Document Journal about her first single in four years, ‘What Was That’, the first single shared from ‘Virgin’.
Explaining how the upcoming record marked a new level of growth for her since 2021’s ‘Solar Power’, she said: “I was very weak. I look back now, and I don’t have that same feeling of floating away. I eat as much as I want and need now.
“I wasn’t very embodied,” she added. “I often would think about not eating very much as I felt like every bite of food I had was stolen. I was like, ‘Hang on, this has gotten weird’.”
That lead single also saw her open up about the struggles, with lyrics including: “I wear smoke like a wedding veil/ Make a meal I won’t eat”, as did ‘Broken Glass’: “I spent my summer getting lost in math/ Making weight took all I had.”
The confessional quality of the album saw it awarded four stars by NME’s Alex Rigotti. “With her newfound candour,” the review read, “the record combines the emotional whirlwind of ‘Melodrama’, the chilling minimalism of ‘Pure Heroine’ and the breezy freedom of ‘Solar Power’. This might be called ‘Virgin’, but Lorde proves she’s not afraid to strip herself bare.”
Following the album’s release, Lorde has teased that some ‘Virgin‘ b-sides may be on the way. Taking to social media on June 30, she revealed that one of her favourite songs didn’t make the final track list, writing that she cut it “last minute because I thought it diluted the vision.”
She added that it was one of her “absolute favs” that she wrote with songwriter Fabiana Palladino, who also worked on ‘Current Affairs’ and ‘If She Could See Me Now’. As it turns out, it’s not the only unreleased song, with the singer adding: “Couple really good B sides knocking around actually.”
Recently, some fans have taken to social media to share that their ‘Virgin’ CDs aren’t working.
Lorde had sold a version of the album on clear plastic CD format in line with her vision for “transparency”. Made from recyclable materials, it was also the only CD option available for the album, with some finding the CDs don’t actually work on most CD players.
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Poppy Burton
NME
